I've been a whole mess of emotions lately. I wrote it off as PMS but who am I kidding, life right now is heavy. Add pain on top of that and its no wonder I break out in random crying spells....
This morning I sat down and coped, I tried processing everything. I took a solid amount of time to think about everything that is going on in my life. Then I asked myself what I was in control of and what I was not in control of. Why would I stress myself out over the things I had no control of? I'm smarter than that, we all are. There's so much I have no control over and I realized that those were things were stressing me out and weighing me down. I immediately felt better realizing that I am still in control of my life despite the challenging obstacles I've had to take on over the last year. I also realized that I have been very proactive in working to change those things that are out of my control.
So what don't I have control over? The two major things are my pain and paralysis. Two very shitty things, BUT despite not having control over them, I've introduced tools to their equation that are going to put both into remission. I've seen first hand what hard work at physical therapy can do for my physical progression and I am so beyond grateful to find The Spero Clinic in hopes of eradicating this awful pain.
Have you ever anticipated something so hardcore that you get a bellyache just thinking about it? Perhaps it was the anticipation of a first date, or your first international flight or meeting your biological mother for the first time. I leave for the Spero Clinic in 2 weeks and good God, the anticipation is killing me. I have such high hopes for healing and new beginnings, but there's also a chance the clinic won't be able to help me. Is it possible to be cautiously optimistic?
Do I even want to be cautiously optimistic? No, I don't think I do. I think I'd rather be insanely optimistic and learn to handle the let down with grace. This journey has shown me that we need more hope, we need more extraordinary people, we need more love and we need more optimism.
Did you know optimism has been proven to improve the immune system, prevent chronic disease, and help people cope with unfortunate news. How neat is that? So YA, let's choose to be insanely optimistic. Its VITAL to our well being.
How do you maintain your optimism? Need a jump start? Reading can help. Here are a few reads that have given me a pep in my optimistic step.